Put yourself in my (running) shoes. You're at your cross country meet with your team preparing for the big race. Everything is great. It's a perfect, sunny day and you just finished your warmup with the team and you're changing into your spikes for the race.
"20 more minutes" coach says.
The team gets up and we all head over to the starting pit to prep ourselves. Lunges. Striders. High knees. Striders. Karaokes. Striders. Throughout the process your thoughts are going wild; everything else around you is shut out. Am I going to finish with a personal best? Can I keep a constant pace during the race? Is my breathing going to get out of control?
All of a sudden you're brought back to reality; "5 minutes". You get in a team huddle and instantly you remember the one and most important thing that you were told in church last week: "If you want to run fast, go alone. If you want to run far, go together."
The only thing that matters anymore is that you are with your team and with them, anything is able to be accomplished.
You say your team prayer and give a few words of encouragement. This circle, this bond, this family, is the strongest factor in the motivation to run the race. Together, we are unstoppable. Coach says good luck and we line up in our block. It's happening; breathe in, breathe out, breathe in, breathe out. The official puts his gun up.
This is it.
"BANG" the gun goes and after that, we go no where but up.
Wow I really loved your post! I really enjoyed how throughout your whole post, you put the audience in your shoes. As I read it, it really felt as if I was at a cross country meet, and I was about to run. You used imagery very well. Also, your very first sentence caught my attention when you said "Put yourself in my (running) shoes." You took a cliche and made it a little different and I thought it was very clever. Your post put into perspective how cool cross country can be, and it might just make people truly consider joining the team.
ReplyDeleteI really felt as if I could connect to the feelings of anxiety you feel before you start a cross country race. Before a football game, I feel the same feelings within myself even though the two sports are completely different. Your imagery really conveyed the feelings of anxiety and excitement before a sporting event which could lead to more and more people trying out for sports to feel this excitement. There is no other feeling than the ones before a game, race, match, or meet. Your diction and punctuation really added to the affect of anxiety which really depicts how exciting sports are. I enjoyed reading your blog because it drew me in to feeling like I was the one lining up to race, making my heart race a little more than normal.
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ReplyDeleteI really thought your post was effective. Not only did you use imagery when you mentioned how it was a sunny day and onomatopoeia when you said "bang", you used really strong diction when you used descriptive words and sentence structure when you used parellel structure like when you said "breathe in, breathe out..." and when you had short sentences to describe your warm ups. Before a race in track, your heart basically beats out of your chest and there really is no one else to calm you down than your team mates and you realize how much help they are and how much of a family you are. Most athletes would be able to relate to this and this establishes a really strong ethos. I also thought you established ethos well when you kept saying "we". I also like how you asked questions. They really get you thinking. All in all, I thought this post was well written and relatable.
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